A vacation is the perfect medicine.

Even the smallest of vacations can help a person’s spirits. From Sunday, August 30th until September 2nd, I was in Laughlin with my father, enjoying a nice break from reality. We were there purely to say “Bon voyage” to summer. It was a last trip of the summer, taking a boat and a sea doo and meeting a couple out there with their sea doo. It was very relaxing. There was a few times that the kids and the adults left on the boat to water ski and someone needed to stay back on the shore with one or both sea doos, so I often volunteered. It was so peaceful. No boats jamming by because we were there during the week, no kids screaming, just the sound of the water on the shore, the birds squawking and the sound of the wind. It was awesome. Gave me tons of time to think and relax.

Then I came home and became 24. 24 years old. What was really cool is that I celebrated this last year before I become a quarter of a century at Disneyland with my Grandma, my cousin Steve, his girlfriend Jill, my mom and Skye. We met Brandi and Zack for lunch in downtown Disney at Tortilla Joe’s. It was a really good day. No lines whatsoever, and even if there were lines my grandma rented a wheelchair so we had that kind of access. It was fun. Legitimately there was no line for Space Mountain so naturally that became my 3 year old daughter’s first roller coaster ever. It was an exciting day. The fireworks at the end made the night that much better.

Then, I realized a couple years ago, Kasey Kahne won at California Speedway on my birthday, September 3rd. This year, there was no race ON my birthday but the race after my birthday was even better. My future husband, Kahne, won the 500, a night race at Atlanta. Talk about being awesome. Best birthday week ever. I met some really cool people, celebrated my old age with my family and finished it off with an awesome race.

To quote the Zac Brown Band: “Life was good today” [more like last week]!

The power of adrenaline

Adrenaline makes the body do strange things. Tonight, I was visiting my dad which is an every weekend thing. Now, a little background information on the situation before I get into it. My dad and mom split up about 6 or 7 years ago. I’m thinking 6. I’m pretty sure it was 6. Well, immediately after my mom and I moved out this woman moved in. At first, I tolerated her, was angry with the situation but I tolerated her. She’s not at all the kind of woman I would expect my dad to be with. I mean, he hangs out in bars,  so what kind of woman did I expect?! Not her. She’s weird. Like, right off the bat, WEIRD. She’s a decently, dare I say, okay… yeah sure that fits… person to be around, WHEN SHE’S NOT DRINKING! But, with her, it’s hard to find a moment when she isn’t drinking. Let’s face it: My dad is an alcoholic, as is most of my family. But most of the time, my family is loveable. She on the other hand gets strange-r. She talks to herself, which we call her “chanting” stage, then she starts her “I’m dismissed” stage. After that, it’s any one’s guess where she’s headed.

Tonight, though, started out wonderfully. My cousin, Albert, came over with his two kids and my dad, Uncle Fred, and I all went out for sushi, which surprisingly is delicious (I’m by no means a seafood eater). My aunt opted to stay at my dad’s with this woman and my Uncle Rick and this woman’s 30 year old son. Well I guess the woman was saying mean things about my family, about my aunt and she had enough and left before we got back. Then my dad basically started an argument and then for some strange reason I got brought into the argument. I heard something along the lines of, “Your whore of a daughter…” and I flew off the handle. She had no right to bring me into their little argument for one and for two she has some nerve calling me such a derogatory name. Then she attacked my parenting calling me a bad mother. I lit into her like the 4th of July. I’ve got the mind set that if something negative is said about me, I will stand up for myself, it’s only right, right?! So then I asked her to elaborate on how I am a “whore” and she said because a single adult had a “one” night stand, that makes me a bad person. I was like, “And what does that make you? You’ve been sleeping with a married man for 6 years. You moved in the day we moved out! What does that make you?” I was so proud of myself for sticking up for not only myself, but for my mom, and the rest of my family whom she’s disrespected. It was no holds barge tonight, let me tell you.

Now, I won’t get into the rest of the argument because I’ve probably already said too much. Bottom line is that I stood up and threw everything negative she had to say about my family and my lifestyle and turned it around to prove to her that her family is no better. She attacked me for being 24 and living with my mother. I turned it around to show her that her own daughter is 23, with a 7 year old living with her father. How am I any different? I’m not. In fact, I’m not working odd jobs that are getting me no where, I’m getting an education to make something out of myself. I’m proud of my education. I’m proud of my family. Yeah, granted my family isn’t the greatest, but they’ve been there for me. They’ve stood by me when I needed them to, and they are everything a family should be. Every family has it’s fault, no one is perfect!

The adrenaline rush that came with this argument was, exhilarating. I was shaking, I didn’t cry, but I felt all the blood rush to my head. Now I know why people call it “heated”. I was so upset. I was so angry. I was so…livid. The adrenaline rush was amazing. Now that it is gone though, I have a massive headache. Doesn’t help the fact that it’s 3:30 am. Why does your body do this? It’s fascinating. I am seriously wanting to learn more about the hormones in the human body now. It’s weird.

money woes…

I was thinking about what I would do if I had a million dollars. Obviously the first things first, GET OUT OF DEBT! I hate having debt over my head, but you gotta do what you gotta do to make sure you have a car and such. That wouldn’t take much money though. Then I would buy a new car. One that won’t fall apart and one that is exactly what I want. Preferably a 2010 Ford Fusion Hybrid Those are nice. Then I would buy a house. A nice 3 – 4 bedroom house in the hills of South Corona. I like South Corona. The house must have a pool. I wouldn’t pay for it all in cash though, I would put like half down, put the rest in the bank and let the interest grow on it. I figure that would be close to 500,000 or more. With the car and debt easily 35,000 and half down on the house I want is like 350,000. Then of course I would give my mom a substantial amount of money for her being so great to me and help her by letting her live with me, rent free and all (like she’s been making possible for me while struggling month-to-month while I’m in school — GOD I LOVE THIS WOMAN) or I would help her get her own house, by paying for it or helping her with the down making sure the payments are affordable if she wished to go that route. I’d help my sister and her husband out with whatever they needed, but they’re pretty much in good hands with my brother-in-law being a very smart man. I would set 100,000 aside for Skye for college. That way she could pay for college and live wherever she wanted. She would get a car when she was responsible enough and she’d probably be in private school.

THEN I would be a NASCAR traveler. I would go to almost every race I possibly could, but those would just be during the summer while I’m not teaching. $1,000,000 would be a good start to a nice comfortable life, but if I wanted to maintain that lifestyle I would need some income. For the other expenses, the monthly bills, the sexy pool boy and the fun times on vacations. It would be so nice to not have to worry about money anymore. They say money can’t buy happiness, but whoever said that must not have been poor. It’s the pits wondering what bill you’re going to have to skip because you can’t afford it.

NASCAR drivers meet the Prez…

Brandi, look away. This entire post is dedicated to NASCAR.

President Obama met with several NASCAR drivers yesterday to honor wounded soldiers (article found here). Now the list of drivers that were present was pretty impressive, given that some old folgies were also in attendance. There was modern popular drivers such as Jeff Gordon and Dale Earnhardt, Jr., and some old greats, such as Darrell Waltrip and Richard Petty, but how is it that Juan Pablo Montoya and Denny Hamlin (AND Clint Bowyer) get to go to the White House and not KASEY KAHNE! I would have loved to see have seen Kasey Kahne on the White House lawn. He would be better eye candy than Jimmie Johnson, who I’m not knocking gay people, but I swear Jimmie is gay. Granted, Jimmie is the 3 time reigning champion of the NASCAR Sprint Cup, but still, Kasey Kahne has more wins than Juan Pablo Montoya and Clint Boywer, and Denny Hamlin (I think). Maybe it’s because he’s doing mega duty at Bristol Motor Speedway this weekend, I don’t know. Or it could be that President Obama didn’t want someone sexier than him there, I don’t know. Kasey would definitely take the spotlight off of his big ol’ ears.

Photo courtesy of: http://lolnascar.wordpress.com

Other NASCAR news that cracked me up was the headline: Kyle Busch too emotional. Uh, yeah. Duh. He’s a whiner. He is the whiniest whiner in all of NASCAR. I think he is worse than Danica would be if she made the transition over to NASCAR. In fact, Kyle Busch and Danica Patrick would make the perfect couple; at least they would give the infield some entertainment during their bitch-fests, although it would get rather old super quick.

Now, with the rules going into effect next season Rousch was forced to drop one of his drivers. He chose Jamie Mac (McMurray). Now I can agree with his choice. He hasn’t been producing the good finishes like his team mates (Matt Kenseth, The Biff, Carl Edwards and David Ragan). Rousch made the obvious choice, and probably the right one. I don’t think that this decision will come back to bite him in the butt like Hendrick’s choice to drop Whiney Busch who returned the next season with a new ride (Toyota) and a new team (Joe Gibbs Racing) and kicked ass all season; until the Chase anyway. So now the question I ask is, who will pick up Jamie Mac? He’s a good driver. He ranks right up there with Martin Truex Jr that is getting a new ride next year and Elliot Sadler who should get a better ride next year. It must be hard for Sadler, being in Kahne’s shadow. I think he got screwed in the beginning of the season by almost losing his ride, Sadler deserves better than that, he is an awesome driver and I hear a really nice guy.

*sigh* I guess I’m passionate about this NASCAR thing…

music that soothes my soul:

This list is compiled of the songs that I love to sing. I don’t care where I am, who I am with or what I am doing, I will sing these songs out loud

10. Avril Lavigne – My Happy Ending

9.  Taylor Swift – White Horse

8. Martina McBride – Broken Wing

7. Faith Hill – I Love You

6. *N Sync – ANYTHING! I love them all

5. New Kids on the Block – any of the slow songs will do (especially If You Go Away)

4. Jagged Edge – Goodbye

3. Blake Shelton – Austin and I’ll Just Hold On

2. Miranda Lambert – Gunpowder and Lead

1. P!nk (Pink) – IT ALL! I LOVE HER VOICE

woot!

My baby girl did well on her assessment today! Miss Melissa let us know of some things we need to work on through the year but all in all, she did awesome! Now the countdown begins: SEPTEMBER 14th! I can not wait for school to start again. I’m getting bored, she’s getting bored. I hate it. I just want to start classes again. Believe it or not, I miss school. I walked onto campus today and the smell of the Eucalyptus trees and the freshly cut grass made me miss school that much more.

The next few weeks will thankfully have its moments of busy. My birthday is in 17 days, but who’s counting down? I’m going to be 24 and I’m not too excited about it. What I am excited about is a trip to Laughlin, NV (and Lake Mohave), Disneyland, my daughter’s school starting and her turning 4!, my courses starting, my little cousin turns 18, my nephew (who happens to be the greatest man in my life at the moment) turns 1, and then there’s the NASCAR race in Fontana It’s the Chase, NASCAR’s equivalent to the playoffs I’m stoked. September through October is a big deal and I can not wait

mixed emotions…

I’ve had a difficult week. I’ve been trying to get over the fact that I probably let myself fall a little more than I intended to, but it’s okay. I’m getting over that. I’ve been dealing with emotions that I really haven’t wanted to in a while, but things are finally starting to look up.

Kasey Kahne is rockin in NASCAR so that’s done wonders for my spirits! I know, my mood shouldn’t depend on NASCAR and where Kasey is in the points standings, but it does. I’m also really excited for the upcoming football season, which I haven’t been in a very long time. In fact, I usually hate football because it interferes with NASCAR on Sundays.

Tomorrow, my baby girl has an assessment test down at the preschool to see where she’s at to get her ready for kindergarten. Wow. She’s almost 4! And now I need to get her thinking about kindergarten. It’s exciting though. She’s growing up.

This summer seems to be dragging on forever. This was the first summer in a long time that I didn’t take any classes. I must say that I am incredibly bored and ready to start school again. September 24th is taking forever to get here and I just want to get back into the swing of things. Getting up at 5:30 to leave by 6:30. I have to park in the structure now so I gotta leave a little early to make sure I get Skye dropped off, and then park and be in class by 8. Fun times

im hurt.

I can’t write about what is really on my mind because it is way too personal and I have so many people already in my business about it that I’m going to keep quiet on that subject. It really sucks that I have to do that too. It is a really good life lesson I learned this week, that unless this blog was completely anonymous, I shouldn’t write about. There are too many people that know me personally that read this and would judge me and I’ve had enough of that these past couple of days. I don’t need it any longer. I think I’m going to start just speaking my mind though, and not really care who gets hurt. At least I can say I’m honest, and that’s what everyone wants.

Jason told me something that sums it up, people want honesty. They always complain that they hate fake people and yada yada yada, but when people are real with them, they don’t like it. For instance, I’m 23. I made a decision that my family doesn’t agree with. Why? I can’t figure it out. I’ve done nothing wrong. In fact, my mom pointed out I’ve done nothing different than what they have done in the past. But instead of running away and LYING about what I did, I manned up and said, “So what?!” I got pissed at some people I never thought that I would get angry with, but I did. It’s over and done. So what’s up? I mean why is it we want the truth but we can’t handle the truth once it’s out there?

It’s like what he [Jason] said about his anger. He gets angry with people that disrespect. He feels that people shouldn’t get away with disrespect without consequence just because of who they are or because it’s wrong to put them in their place.  I have a family member that is a total jackass! He’s always getting under everyone’s skin and does mean things and every one laughs and says, “Oh, that’s just Uncle Jackass.” No one ever gets angry with him, or when they do, they don’t tell him to knock it the hell off because it’s annoying and hurts people’s feelings. He laughs and is totally hypocritical because when the joke is on him he gets mad. But when is enough, enough? When can I finally get so angry I can stand up to him and put him in his spot?

I had enough. And frankly this blog makes no sense to you all because you don’t know what I’m talking about, but I guess the moral to be learned here is that people should treat others how they expect to be treated. It’s one of the golden rules of life. Respect and be respected, love and be loved. We learn this in elementary school, so do we just kind of forget it along the way?

sleeping dilemma comes back to rear its ugly head

So for months I’ve been trying to get Skye to sleep in her own bed at night and it has been highly unsuccessful. She refuses. When I get her almost convinced to sleep in her bed she changes her mind very quickly. I’ve tried a lot to get her in there, even the devil’s work of bribing; still no luck. I’ve noticed a pattern with her though, and it seems that in order to get her to sleep alone, the TV needs to be on. So hear me out. I’m getting rid of some of her toys next weekend as my cousin is having a garage sale, and when that happens, I’m also going to sell her bed. I’m going to buy her a mattress (or an air mattress at first until I can afford to get her a new bed AND once I know this will work) and for her 4th birthday I’m going to give her a TV and a DVD player. This TV will not be hooked up to the satellite nor will it be able to get any stations. I pick the things she watches and I can turn off the TV whenever I feel it’s time (she’s usually out by 10 if I do it right). I’m running out of other options but I didn’t want to be the parent to rely on TV to get their child to sleep. But a nightlight, radio and stories at bedtime doesn’t seem to be working either.

What do you think, is 4 years young too young for a TV with those kind of restrictions?!

A long weekend that was almost perfect…

As my sister wrote about @ brandistrand.wordpress.com, the weekend was very enjoyable. Friday night I enjoyed a nice quiet night to my self because Skye was at her daddy’s. I listened to music the entire night, kind of loud, and it was great. Then on Saturday, I went over to my cousin’s house for my little cousin Katelyn’s 16th birthday party. She is so beautiful. I love all my little cousins. There were other things that made me laugh that I really won’t get into but it was a good night. I was responsible enough to have a good time but not get completely wasted to the point where I puked and couldn’t hold myself up, plus I remember everything, and I mean EVERYTHING that happened. I just can’t remember how I got this damn cut on my finger.

Anyways, Saturday night was good. It was depressing to wake up and find out that my cousin’s dog got out SOMETIME during the morning or night and found his way to the main road and got hit by a car. Poor Mr. B. He will be missed and it was kind of a downer, but I took it upon myself with the help of my little cousins to clean the mess from the party so that Lana wouldn’t have to deal with that too. I mean she lost her dog, she shouldn’t have to have the burden of cleaning an insanely huge mess. We had that garage and front yard looking spotless by 3 .

Over all it was a very nice weekend. It humbles me to see how much I’ve grown and how I can still act like a kid when I want. My cousin Lisa (41) and her cousin Jason (28) and I (23) stayed up until 4 am just messin around, being goofy and scaring her kids (14 – 18) It was hilarious. And! The best part is, I got a kiss from my lil prince charming (Zack of course!)