When my time comes forget the wrong that I’ve done…

but as I was looking to be inspired to write, I was hit with some tragic news.

An acquaintance of mine from high school died tragically about a week ago. At around 4 am her car was stopped on some train tracks and the train never saw her. It probably would have been too late at 4 am anyway, but her car was found in a near by flood channel. Unfortunately, she didn’t make it. Her funeral is tomorrow and I can’t make it because my sister’s baby party is tomorrow, but I don’t think I’d go, just because its been like 5 years since I’ve seen her last.

I’ll always remember her as “Triska” and I’ll always remember her smile. She was always smiling EVERY time I saw her. 23 years is too young to die.  My condolences go out to her friends and family. I’m sure she’ll be greatly missed.

*sigh* It’s always unfortunate when I hear of someone I know dying. I heard she had been drinking, it doesn’t surprise me, but that is left to speculation and the people who knew her. I always think about what would happen if it were me in the coffin instead of my acquaintances. It’s just so sad to think about these kids, really they’re kids, dying. Especially because of stupid choices. A few weeks ago, the kid from Walmart, it was a stupid choice to drink and drive or get into a car with a driver that was drunk. That tragically ended in the death of all 4 people in the car, ages ranging from 20 to 24. And people wonder why I dislike drinking. It’s for that reason!

This news makes me sad. Again, Trisha’s family: I am truly sorry for your loss, and I know Trisha is in a better place. She will not be forgotten.

*Update* If you don’t read my comments, Trisha’s Aunt whom I am assuming spoke at her funeral said that she had spoken to the cops that night and Trisha had gotten out of the car and it was said she wasn’t drinking. It’s so very sad.

Please visit triska.org to post memories and what not of Trisha! I’m sure her family would greatly appreciate hearing from you.

Yay for interviews!

So I don’t know how to stand out in a group interview. I’ll do my best though because I want this job. I need this job.

My financial aid for school isn’t going to be the greatest, I won’t have extra money like I did at RCC, which means I’m going to need extra income. What better way to getting that income than working at Babies R Us, which a bunch of pregnant women and kids. That is AWESOME! I’m stoked.

On another note, the Pepsi 500 is this weekend at the Auto Club Speedway and it’s also another huge event I’ve been excited about since the end of January-early February! My NEPHEW’S Baby party. My mom is super excited as well because for one, this is the child we didn’t think was going to be, period. My sister and her husband [mostly her husband] decided a long time ago they didn’t want kids, then not too long ago he decided a kid wouldn’t be so bad. So now my sister is pregnant and is expecting their first child Zack. I’m completely excited for them and I wish I was richer so I can spoil the little booger.

I get knocked out…but I get up again.

You’re never gonna keep me down.

Wow. It’s been a few days since I’ve last posted on my dearly beloved blog that I so cherish deeply within my heart. A lot has happened. For beginners, I got kicked off the trial I wrote about. The prosecutors didn’t want me because I asked too many questions. HA! The defense didn’t want me because I don’t take sides with drug addicts. HA! Killed two birds with one stone. However, it was incredibly strange to see a person I’ve known since high school standing in the court hall waiting to go into the same courtroom I was. He was part of the second panel they called. Unfortunately he wasn’t as fortunate as I was and was selected to be a juror on the case, so after the case is finished, I’m going to be curious to how it ended. That’s just my unquenchable curious side that will get me in trouble sooner or later.

My sister was involved in yet another car accident, but this time it was a little scary because she’s pregnant. She’s due in October, but has already started having contractions (but hormone levels show she isn’t in labor). She had to go to the hospital for monitoring anyways just to make sure the baby is fine, then her blood pressure was high. Ut oh. That’s not good. But it’s okay. She’ll get better with modified bed rest (hopefully). So we were over there yesterday to drop off some stuff for her baby party and so my mom can make her spaghetti (Referenced here). The spaghetti was a success no doubt. My puppy, Kasey and her 4 year old mutt Brooklyn were finally able to meet and I would love to think hit it off like cousins should. They did so well together I’m so happy.

As for the rest of the weekend, it’s been kind of a bore. We went to Toys R Us to look at their powerwheels and kitchen sets, and found neither too intriguing. I’m going to ask my father if he would like to pitch in with me and get her the Barbie Jeep powerwheels with a working FM stereo! SWEET!

=]

Court is in session — verdict is in…

So I was called into a trial thing at 3:30 pm thus making it necessary to at least come back for one more day. I couldn’t get excused because I don’t have a job, school doesn’t start until the 2nd (and the trial is only expected to last 4 to 5 days) and it sucks ass! But at least tomorrow I don’t need to be there until 10:30 am. SWEET!

So as I was taking my 2 hour lunch break, I was laughing. I was watching the people coming out of the courthouse and just chuckled silently to my self. For one, there were these women, chunky women, and they were trying to look…nice, but ended up looking like skanks. Then, the men coming out of the courthouse. You could tell who were the sleezy lawyers and which I would want representing me. Plus, the criminals. HAHA. I hate to say I was profiling, but I was. I couldn’t help it. There was this one guy talking to one of his friends about his awaiting trial boasting about how they couldn’t prove it was him, Deshawn or Laramy that committed the burglary. “You know I already got a felony on my record, I don’t want another.” I rolled my eyes. Then, I obviously wasn’t smoking as I was sitting on the wall, eating my chips and drinking my soda, but he proceeded to ask me if I had a light. Do I look like I have a light? Am I smoking? No. Sorry.

But I felt like 90% of my day was wasted. I sat around from 8 to 4ish doing NOTHING. I could have brought my laptop, but downtown Riverside is kinda sketchy and I didn’t want to be mugged and have my laptop stolen. I don’t got LoJack on it yet.

On a lighter note, I watched my two dear heroes win the GOLD in Women’s Beach Volleyball, so here is to Kerry Walsh and Misty May-Teanor for doing what no other beach volleyball team has ever done! Kept their undefeated streak while competing in the olympics and winning two consecutive golds in the summer Olympics! Kerry, you deserve to go have them babies!

I felt like such a true fan, staying up late to watch them kill the Chinese in 2 sets! It was awesome. Although their opponents were great, no one compares to May and Walsh. Those aces were unexpected though, from the Chinese, but that can’t get them girls down. Oh no, it just pisses them off that much more!

Again, a much deserved congratulations goes out to Misty and Kerry! You guys rock and deserve to be up on that pedestal with Michael Phelps and all of the other USA Olympians. Now they truly are American heroes!

I never thought it’d be so simple but I found a way — I found a way

So I checked my jury duty status today and alas, I am called to perform my civic duty. Yuk. So I’m not going to bring my laptop but I will be bringing a good book (or so I’m told) and a little journal pad and a pen, so I can jot down my thoughts while I’m there, and my precious cell phone. Hopefully I won’t be completely bored. I’m going to be dropped off so that I can avoid being sent to the desert or as I like to call it, B.F.E. (butt-f*ing-Egypt). This is going to be one fun day…NOT.

When I Get Where I’m Going, don’t cry for me down here

10 Things I Whole-Heartedly Miss:

1. Feeling whole.

2. Breakfast on Sundays — more importantly my dad’s soggy garlicy potatoes.

3. My Grandpa’s raspy voice.

4. Weekends at the “lot”. My grandpa owned a piece of land in Lake Matthews. Never built anything on it. It only had a trailer my uncle lived in. We spent our weekends up there. I miss that greatly (this relates to #1).

5. The innocence I see in my daughter’s eyes that I once had.

6. Uncle Bob — the one I grew up with.

7. Good ol COUNTRY music…when it was good.

8. 1995 Jeep Wrangler – blue. HOT!

9. *N Sync

10. Classic MTV – When it was about the music.

So if you agree have a drink with me raise your glasses for a toast

I am so sick of falling in love with a song only to have it played out by the radio stations. A perfect example of this is with the Rodney Atkin’s album. I absolutely loved the “Cleaning This Gun” song. As soon as I heard it on 95.1 KFRG I knew it was over. I was thinking that I was going to hear it so much I would never want to hear it again. Sure enough, as soon as I hear the intro to the song, I switch the station. I can’t believe they killed the song. They [radio stations] always take the GREAT songs and over play them so much it drives me nuts!

I have enough Pepsi Stuff points to buy a song from amazon.com. I don’t know which song I want to download because I’m stingy. I don’t want to download the new Kid Rock song because it is already getting played out, but I absolutely love that song. Then there’s Seether. I love “Rise Above This” but I’m so afraid the radio is going to play it out because every time I change the station to X or KROQ it’s always, “I call your name….” (lyrics from the song). Then of course there are some country songs I love and want to download, but there’s too many of those.

*sigh* Decisions decisions.

If you’re going through hell…

keep on moving don’t slow down if you’re scared keep goin…

Sometimes I hate the fact that I have people looking over my shoulder all the time. I have no privacy at all. I try to go to the restroom and my daughter barges in. It’s like why do I even shut the door. Even now, I have someone watching my every move like I’m 2 years old or something. I hate it. I can’t do anything on my own anymore.

On a lighter note, I absolutely love going for walks in the evenings after dinner now. It makes me feel absolutely wonderful. We put the dog on a leash and just walk. We walk around the block up and down the street and I feel so great afterwards. I noticed the child and the dog are beat by the time we get back. We get a little bit of Vitamin D thanks to the sun and then we get the exercise too. We even met some neighbors we never met before, today. So it’s a wonderful time. I think everyone should do that in the evenings, with or without a dog. The sunsets are gorgeous.

[insert corny lyrics here]

Bleh. I feel unworthy today. I don’t know why I feel unworthy today, I just do. Here it is, past noon and I’m still wearing my pajamas, my phone hasn’t rung with news of an interview at a new store thats opening up soon, nor have I really got the energy to do anything. Oh, and I didn’t get called up to report for jury duty today, I just feel…unwanted.

A 4 month old puppy and a 35 month old (officially as of 6:05 am tomorrow morning) makes the house seem like a zoo and I am a mere zoo-keeper. My daughter decides to go outside and dig. I ask her what she is digging for and she said she didn’t do it, Kasey did it. She makes this bogus claim as I stood there and watched her dig with one of her gardening tools. My sister laughed as I told her this, saying that she’s smart. Well, yes, my daughter is EXTREMELY smart, but she is also a demon spawn of Satan sometimes (that would be my spawn, HA!). They do say, paybacks are 10 times worse.

Speaking of being a tot, my uncle so kindly emailed this wonderful 80s picture to us.

Michael, Steve, Me, Brandi and Alicia

Now the first 2 on the left are my older cousins. Then, there is me. Next to me (Right) is my older and wiser sister and my cousin Alicia. I still can’t figure out what my sister is doing, but we’re all a cute bunch nonetheless. This is proof I am a product of the 80s and a 90s kid. We estimate that this picture was taken sometime in ‘86 because I was sitting up (being born in Sept of 85 makes it impossible this was taken in 1985).  This puts a dagger through the issues I’m already having with turning 23 next month. Don’t get me wrong, it’s no so much that I’m turning 23. It’s the fact that I’m no longer “young”. My daughter is going to be 3. I was 20 when she was born. The eldest of my younger cousins is a SENIOR in HIGH SCHOOL this year.  My god, I helped change her diapers for crying out loud! My oldest cousin is 40!  Haha, how old does THAT make her feel? Haha. Age, it can be a vicious thing. But alas, I shall not let it get me down. I still have a long life to live and I’m not going to let a thing like turning 23 get me down. I’m not where I want to be just yet, but I will be soon.

=]

I’m old enough to know better…

but I’m still to young to care! ♦ Wade Hayes – Old Enough to Know Better

I’ve found that the problem with using song lyrics as my title is that sometimes I want to use more than just one line. I guess the problem would be the same if I used poetry as well. I think I’ll stick to song lyrics.

So last night, against my better judgment I stayed up way too late. I was having too much fun to sleep, but I really need to get on a good schedule, especially since I’m going to have to report to jury duty sometime next week (more than likely) and lord knows I don’t need to be falling asleep in the face of extreme boredom. I was going to bring: a book, my laptop and power cord, food I’ll probably pack in ice and leave in the car, a notebook and a pen or pencil, whichever they allow in. So I’ll be set. I’m going to be reading Stephen King’s Cell [I don't have it next to me, but I believe that is what it's called] so I’m stoked.

Sad thing is, well, I don’t know if it’s sad as much as it is…normal, but I’m 22. Last night I didn’t drink. I don’t do drugs and I rarely drink (result of having a boyfriend, father, great-grandfather, grandfather, aunts, uncles that are/were alcoholics) because I don’t want to become dependent on alcohol. Don’t get me wrong, the occasional Mike’s, Smirnoff, Mojito or Margarita does hit the spot every once in a while, I don’t make a habit of it.

So what in the hell were you doing all night, you ask? I was playing “Mafia Wars” on myspace in between racing people from all over the country on Nascar 09 online on PS2. I lead the most exciting life! HA!

I seriously need to find more to do around here. Nascar is an addiction. A dangerous addiction that draws you in the most desperate of times. Bad.